Rantings from a man without internet.

First five thoughts on my recent travels (in no particular order): (1) How do they make these salty noodles taste so good? (MSG?!?) I've never had something so simple take me so close to gastronomical bliss. It’s like my taste buds have rewired themselves directly into my brain’s dopamine dispensers. They must have like 30 different kinds of 'salty'. Akin to the Eskimo's many words for snow. (2) Coffee, a jet-lager's wet dream! Dispensed from 24 hour vending machines that are never more than 100 meters away regardless of where you are in the country. Score! Now if I can just stop these damn tremors... (3) Describe the locals in two words: Androgynous, (yesterday, while sitting in a park people watching I spied an unheard of couple, a Japanese man with western woman. As you know, from the standpoint of a gaijin Asian men are not the most fetching of the races. Perplexed I stood to get a better look and discovered it was merely two Asian men walking side by side. I assumed the one was a western woman because it had longer blond hair and wasn't as short as the local females...) and the other word, polite-to-the-point-of-embarrassing-hilarity. I was sitting on the train this morning when I felt something bony collide with my shoulder. When I turned to see I found that it was a middle-aged woman's ass (there's that androgyny again, women with flatter bums than me, if you can believe it) the spectacle that followed was something I'd have been entertained to be watching on National Geographic. She started in with the sumimasens (excuse me/I'm sorry) but about half way through she implemented a repetitive bow supplement. It was drawn out for so long that I wasn't sure if she was still bowing or having a seizure. (4) Is getting half of all my protein from cheap tofu going to feminize me........more? My current budget calls for $4 or less per meal and tofu is insanely cheap. Cheaper (yes!) than horse meat, but will it sustain me? (5) What the fuck have I gotten myself into? Flight complications, language barrier, business attire, a bare, bleak apartment I can almost touch both opposing walls in, expenses I can't afford, commutes through millions (literally) of people. This will take some getting used to. I will, however, say that the gawks kindof flattering. Never in my life have I had so many people pay such close attention to me…