The quest for internet continues…

Two weeks was the quote I got today. It’ll probably be the longest two weeks of my life. You’d be amazed at the amount of bureaucracy that goes into registering someone for internet service. You need an alien registration card, a telephone number, a sponsor, and proof of employment. I can get a firearm in the States for less paperwork… The upside however, is that when it arrives it’ll be 10 times faster than what I’m used to in U.S. of A. meaning I’ll be able to concurrently surf 10 different porn sites! Oh the wonders of modern technology…

As predicted, I fell off the wagon pretty early, the first day in fact. There are no laws prohibiting the sale or consumption of alcohol anywhere at anytime, so it’s fairly common to see salary-men sloppy at 8 pm. Additionally, all the bars in Japan offer nome hodai which is an 80 minute period of all you can drink any type of booze for about 12 dollars. The button-down crowd absolutely loves it, they get done with their jobs and go for an intense sprint of drinking before wobbling home on the trains for a late dinner. For those that have been imbibed past the point of basic navigation and motor control, there are the infamous “coffin” hotels. 5,000 yen (55 bucks) rents a space that would give a corpse claustrophobia.

I’ve begun to settle into the lifestyle of this place, though with a few hitches. I’m certainly expressing style but it’s what the Japanese refer to as “gaijin smash.” When a foreigner knows (s)he’s taking a nosedive in cultural etiquette and decides simply to power through it (it’s the ‘Merican way!) E.g. Sunday night saw me board a train in Yokohama (an hour and three changes from my house) with a computer chair, desk, and shelving in tow. Now Japanese trains are notoriously crowded, so much so that there’s a person whose job it is to push/pack people into the cars enough for the doors to close. Needless to say bags occupying the space normally allotted for people are (non)violently frowned upon, but if you’re a gaijin.... smash.

I realize that something should be said about being culturally insensitive, but from where I’m standing (towering over the natives) I draw the same looks regardless of whether I’m gaijin smashing or not. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that if I spoke perfect Japanese, knew all the etiquette, and dressed just like them, I’d still be gawked at. So I used the handicap ticket gate and tried to position myself in a corner on the trains. There’s definitely something daunting in being stared at from all sides. Thankfully I made it home without too much trouble, in fact, I so enjoyed myself that I’ll be attempting is again on Sunday. Nothing like the draw of a free sofa-bed to kinder my frugal spirit…. Wish me luck!